Twirrible.

So as promised, I read the first book in the Twilight series.  Let me begin by saying that I genuinely tried to come at this with an open mind, and leave any bias behind. I wanted to read critically for plot, style, and character development, but also to see how enjoyable the book actually was.  I tried my best to be impartial and objective.

This book is terrible.  It is boring, lacks any real development of its central characters, and was written in an overly simplistic style.

First, the boredom factor.  So much fat could have been trimmed from this book.  This is clearly the work of a lazy editor.  For instance, rather than using the reaction of characters to allow the reader to understand the supernatural beauty of the vampire characters, the author (Stephanie Meyer) relies heavily on descriptors.  This is fine in moderation, but at some point you have to wonder if there should be a special permit for a thesaurus.  I too have the ability to look up the word "pretty" in Roget's, but you don't see me showing off.

Next, the characters.  They are so painfully flat, that they made an already lengthy and slow novel drag all the more.  The main female protagonist (named Bella...ugh, we get it, she's pretty) falls in love with a vampire kids named Edward.  She pays attention to him despite his warnings that he is dangerous (he is a contentious vampire).  Why? Mostly, it would seem, because he's pretty.  Or because he uses vampire magic.  Not because of shared interests, or history, or having anything in common.  He's pretty and magic.  Edward, Bella's main squeeze, is not much better.  He seems to only like Bella because he cannot read her mind (so in case you were wondering if inscrutability was a factor in love, you now have the answer).  He stalks her (not like prey, but like...you know, a stalker) and warns her that he is dangerous.  Neither seem to care, and fall "in love".  They never really move past this puppy love stage, and seem content to be pretty together.  As far as the message these characters send to readers (especially girls)  goes, it is pretty much this: "Being pretty is the most important thing in life, besides having a boyfriend."  Look at Harry Potter, with its cadre of strong female characters, or The Hunger Games, with perhaps the most well written teenage girl in recent memory.  They all have great lessons to teach; not Twilight.

Finally, there's a lot of "telling", and not enough "showing".  The characters all speak (or think) any descriptions or expositions.  They literally question each other (\incessantly) about everything on their minds, so rather than reading about someone reacting to something, they just come out and say it.  It is rather boring.

Seriously, if you're looking for a good book with a strong female lead, read A Wrinkle in Time, or either of the alternatives mentioned above.  Twilight will not teach anyone anything, other than how to write best-selling dreck.