There's a theory, nay an outright axiom, that deals with the nature of the internet and the behavior of its denizens. Anonymity combined with an unlimited worldwide audience leads people to write things they would never dare say in public, and maybe not even in private, thereby creating a world of pure id. The converse of this axiom is essentially that if people had to post comments using their real names, they would never in a million years write some of the heinous, awful things they do.
There was a story on NPR the other day about people fighting to be able to use pseudonyms on social networking sites like Facebook or Google+. It's one thing to sign up for an account with the New York Times and post your horrible thoughts about their stories on vegan cooking classes on the Upper East Side (zing!) using the name "MeatLvr" or "PETAsux", but to actively fight for more anonymity seems to highlight some deeper issue. What in these person's minds is so base and callous that they not only need to express it publicly, but are so ashamed of it they need to hide it?
Winnicott was one of the first to write about The False Self, the mask that we put up to meet the expectations of others. Each of us at some point in our lives has a False Self that we present to the world; someone (some thing, really) that we think is better than out true selves. Someone that is...what? Smarter? Funnier? More confident? Less affected by criticism? We all do it, but at some point you grow up, you drop the mask, and you realize that you are a wonderful, lovable, complete person (yes, YOU!). You allow the True Self to be the dominant personality, and discard the mask.
And now there's a group fighting to remain anonymous. Fighting to keep their masks in tact. What must they think of themselves that they need to hide? What must they think of others, to want to hide? Maybe it's case of arrested development. Maybe they just have so much hatred in them that they can only expel it on message boards in disguise. Or maybe they lack the surety of their friends loyalty that they can express themselves without fear of wounding a relationship.
I count myself amongst the lucky that I know my friends love me enough to put up with my ravings, and that I need not present a False Self to the world.
Sincerely,
Wilfred Q. Krackenback
Friday, September 30, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
First Dates and Date Firsts
As previously mentioned, KB and I tried out Cherrywood Cafe in Austin and enjoyed our burgers and beer. In addition to interesting sartorial statements, we also had the privilege of sitting next to a couple that was almost certainly on their first date. Adorable. Obviously I had no choice but to eavesdrop with all my might. You know you would have too...don't judge.
I had a decent view of Girl Dater, who seemed to be quite nervously chatty, which was okay because Boy Dater seemed to be a good listener. He had his back to me, so I couldn't read his body language. She talked quite a bit about hr family, their lake house vacation home, the fact that they weren't really rich, and the fact that she had pets. When she asked if he liked dogs, he responded positively. t was this point that we focused our after-dinner conversation on the drive home. According to KB, asking a boy if he likes dogs is akin to asking how he deals with commitment. When she explained this to me, I felt as if I had just been given secret knowledge that single guys are never told, for fear that it would upset the natural order of things.
As a guy, I can only view this piece of information a few way. 1) It's a test of loyalty and fidelity in some way. Dogs are the Platonic ideal of loyalty, and perhaps if a potential suitor identifies with those traits, he sees part of himself there. The other choice is 2) Girls really do not understand guys. I think most guys like dogs because they are much more like men in general. We're driven by attention, a regular feeding schedule, and rewards for good behavior. We're generally averse to aloofness, being scratched for no reason, and very picky eaters.
I think most men like dogs, some just on principle, so I'm worried that the single women of the world my have some misinformation. If a guy doesn't like dogs, yes he terrible, but liking them doesn't mean he's great. I hope that Girl Dater probed into Boy Dater's psyche a little deeper, asking his opinions on the world in general. KB has also posited that the best relationships are those in which people move from discussing people, places and events and on to ideas. I can honestly say that we are very lucky to have the friends we do because the sharing of ideas, beliefs and opinions is something we are all passionate about. We dialogue, share, and are made all the better for having known each other and spent even small amounts of time together.
So Girl Dater, I wish you all the best. Ask Boy Dater about his opinion of the state of education in America, his opinions on the evolution of popular music, and whether or not PETA has a moral footing to stand on. If his answers compliment yours, then ask if he likes dogs. He'll know what you mean because I've already spread the word.
PS The titular "date first" was watching someone back into a scooter and phone a friend for advice, only to discover that sad friend was inside and that it as her scooter. Oh, Austin...you and your scooter gangs.
I had a decent view of Girl Dater, who seemed to be quite nervously chatty, which was okay because Boy Dater seemed to be a good listener. He had his back to me, so I couldn't read his body language. She talked quite a bit about hr family, their lake house vacation home, the fact that they weren't really rich, and the fact that she had pets. When she asked if he liked dogs, he responded positively. t was this point that we focused our after-dinner conversation on the drive home. According to KB, asking a boy if he likes dogs is akin to asking how he deals with commitment. When she explained this to me, I felt as if I had just been given secret knowledge that single guys are never told, for fear that it would upset the natural order of things.
As a guy, I can only view this piece of information a few way. 1) It's a test of loyalty and fidelity in some way. Dogs are the Platonic ideal of loyalty, and perhaps if a potential suitor identifies with those traits, he sees part of himself there. The other choice is 2) Girls really do not understand guys. I think most guys like dogs because they are much more like men in general. We're driven by attention, a regular feeding schedule, and rewards for good behavior. We're generally averse to aloofness, being scratched for no reason, and very picky eaters.
I think most men like dogs, some just on principle, so I'm worried that the single women of the world my have some misinformation. If a guy doesn't like dogs, yes he terrible, but liking them doesn't mean he's great. I hope that Girl Dater probed into Boy Dater's psyche a little deeper, asking his opinions on the world in general. KB has also posited that the best relationships are those in which people move from discussing people, places and events and on to ideas. I can honestly say that we are very lucky to have the friends we do because the sharing of ideas, beliefs and opinions is something we are all passionate about. We dialogue, share, and are made all the better for having known each other and spent even small amounts of time together.
So Girl Dater, I wish you all the best. Ask Boy Dater about his opinion of the state of education in America, his opinions on the evolution of popular music, and whether or not PETA has a moral footing to stand on. If his answers compliment yours, then ask if he likes dogs. He'll know what you mean because I've already spread the word.
PS The titular "date first" was watching someone back into a scooter and phone a friend for advice, only to discover that sad friend was inside and that it as her scooter. Oh, Austin...you and your scooter gangs.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Bizarro, indeed.
I've written about t-shirts before (this blog doesn't have enough history for me to link back to it - don't be lazy), but I don't consider another t-shirt-inspired post too soon. I mean, who doesn't like t-shirts?
Anyway, while testing the neighborhood hamburger joint waters yesterday evening with KB, I saw a gentleman enter wearing a purple t-shirt with a backwards purple "S" on a yellow shield. Using my super powers of geekery, I knew that this was meant to evoke the DC comics supervillain Bizarro. He's like a mirror-opposite of Superman. Whereas Superman is good, Bizarro is evil (though clumsily so). He also uses inverted adjectives to emphasize his oppositeness. Where Superman might say "Up, up and away", Bizarro would say something like "Down, down and here". Superman fights for truth, justice, and the American Way, so Bizarro stands for Lies, Injustice, and...I don't know, a Parliamentary Monarchy? You get the idea. Bizarro is everything NOT Superman.
It seems to me that wearing a shirt with some sort of recognizable logo inherently proclaims that you identify with that logo in some way. I have a t-shirt that has the cover of Orwell's "1984" printed on it. I love that book and have no problem being identified with it. I also have a Freebirds t-shirt (or two). I love burritos...again, you get the idea. But what does it say if you are wearing a Bizarro t-shirt? I don't think that guy was evil, from another dimension, or allergic to Blue Kryptonite. I think his statement was supposed to be something like "I'm weird, I'm defiant, I'm not within the mainstream."
How defiant and unique can you be if you're purposefully acting that way (or identifying as such)? It seems to me that the most truly unique individuals are those that are unique simply through living their authentic lives, and being themselves without any (maybe a little) pretense. Joseph Beuys, Jackson Pollack, Andy Warhol. They were (mostly) authentic in their art and set out with a specific goal in mind; the changing of perception about what art (or culture, or pop culture) could be. But if you're out there just being defiantly weird for no other purpose than to be unique, how unique is that (also, how defiantly weird is it to take your Mac to a coffee house and surf the web with their free wifi?). For me, the guy in the Bizarro t-shirt summed up the thing about Austin that I find most difficult to get my head around. Being "weird" because that's what you're supposed to do. It's almost as if there was a group of unique, idiosyncratic Austinites that roamed free a generation ago, and now all we have left are these echoes and shades of what it used to be like. It's a difficult position to be in, and to watch from the outside. I want to embrace our new city, but it's rather prickly at times. Bizarro, unlike Superman, hates hugs.
The search for authenticity strikes me as a "dark night of the soul" for a lot of people, especially those still being formed (read: in their 20's). In the vernacular, I believe this might be called "keeping it real". Holden Caufield called out everyone that came across his path for being "phony." So what is it to be a fully authentic person? I would argue that the real fakery we see is actually a form of mimicry. Take "foodies" for example. If someone is truly passionate about food, then their enthusiasm will show, and they will tell you about where the animal was raised, where the vegetables were grown, etc. That kind of infectious enthusiasm will naturally inspire imitators (as flatterers), but perhaps their enthusiasm and passion are a bit diluted. Now imagine this chain of imitators keeps going, so that the food discussion becomes de rigueur and loses its original passion and life. That's the place I see too many people living. That's Bizarro-world. They sell t-shirts.
Anyway, while testing the neighborhood hamburger joint waters yesterday evening with KB, I saw a gentleman enter wearing a purple t-shirt with a backwards purple "S" on a yellow shield. Using my super powers of geekery, I knew that this was meant to evoke the DC comics supervillain Bizarro. He's like a mirror-opposite of Superman. Whereas Superman is good, Bizarro is evil (though clumsily so). He also uses inverted adjectives to emphasize his oppositeness. Where Superman might say "Up, up and away", Bizarro would say something like "Down, down and here". Superman fights for truth, justice, and the American Way, so Bizarro stands for Lies, Injustice, and...I don't know, a Parliamentary Monarchy? You get the idea. Bizarro is everything NOT Superman.
It seems to me that wearing a shirt with some sort of recognizable logo inherently proclaims that you identify with that logo in some way. I have a t-shirt that has the cover of Orwell's "1984" printed on it. I love that book and have no problem being identified with it. I also have a Freebirds t-shirt (or two). I love burritos...again, you get the idea. But what does it say if you are wearing a Bizarro t-shirt? I don't think that guy was evil, from another dimension, or allergic to Blue Kryptonite. I think his statement was supposed to be something like "I'm weird, I'm defiant, I'm not within the mainstream."
How defiant and unique can you be if you're purposefully acting that way (or identifying as such)? It seems to me that the most truly unique individuals are those that are unique simply through living their authentic lives, and being themselves without any (maybe a little) pretense. Joseph Beuys, Jackson Pollack, Andy Warhol. They were (mostly) authentic in their art and set out with a specific goal in mind; the changing of perception about what art (or culture, or pop culture) could be. But if you're out there just being defiantly weird for no other purpose than to be unique, how unique is that (also, how defiantly weird is it to take your Mac to a coffee house and surf the web with their free wifi?). For me, the guy in the Bizarro t-shirt summed up the thing about Austin that I find most difficult to get my head around. Being "weird" because that's what you're supposed to do. It's almost as if there was a group of unique, idiosyncratic Austinites that roamed free a generation ago, and now all we have left are these echoes and shades of what it used to be like. It's a difficult position to be in, and to watch from the outside. I want to embrace our new city, but it's rather prickly at times. Bizarro, unlike Superman, hates hugs.
The search for authenticity strikes me as a "dark night of the soul" for a lot of people, especially those still being formed (read: in their 20's). In the vernacular, I believe this might be called "keeping it real". Holden Caufield called out everyone that came across his path for being "phony." So what is it to be a fully authentic person? I would argue that the real fakery we see is actually a form of mimicry. Take "foodies" for example. If someone is truly passionate about food, then their enthusiasm will show, and they will tell you about where the animal was raised, where the vegetables were grown, etc. That kind of infectious enthusiasm will naturally inspire imitators (as flatterers), but perhaps their enthusiasm and passion are a bit diluted. Now imagine this chain of imitators keeps going, so that the food discussion becomes de rigueur and loses its original passion and life. That's the place I see too many people living. That's Bizarro-world. They sell t-shirts.
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